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Being Candid With Yourself

Being candid with yourself isn’t necessarily an easy thing to do.

The vast majority of us have goals and desires we wish to attain to, and we naturally proceed forward accordingly in hopes of someday laying hold of a vision that is dear to our hearts.  thinkingWe all have visions for our lives that we think about from time to time.  Some we know won’t ever happen, and we know that but they’re fun to think about anyway.

We have some that are very difficult to ever come to fruition, but we keep them on the back burner just in case things fall into place.  And then we have those things, those extremely important things to our emotional well being that we feel we, somehow, must make happen.

And so we proceed forward toward our goals as best we can.  We work hard, study, plan, save, make the right contacts and we change those things about ourselves that we feel need to be changed to accommodate and procure that which we desire so much.

It’s necessary to make changes, if we don’t we won’t grow.  And so we change, and we change, and we adjust, and we go through the process of adjusting or eliminating certain traits and we cultivate and include those which we feel are necessary to accomplish our goals.

It’s necessary to adapt and be flexible because it helps us develop new skills and techniques as well as to see things with a new perspective.  And also, as we start the climb toward that lifestyle we so desire, we need to inculcate people into our plan in some manner or another, to facilitate our entry into the world we want.  In other words, we start meeting and to some degree using people that will assist us in our climb.

The unseen identity crisis

masksAnd so we start the process of change, and we change and we continue to change even more.  Some changes are obvious and apparent because they’re willfully self initiated.  But some are more stealth and not as apparent.  Some changes arise in our behaviors and personalities because of a need to “grease the wheels” of success, and they may not have the end result on our sense of self that we would consciously desire because they simply slip in unannounced.

Many of our values, behavioral and ethical changes won’t be noticed without taking some time with ourselves for honest and sincere self analysis.  Sometimes it’s necessary to take the day off, so to speak, and rationally look at ourselves and take an accounting of who we are, who we were, and deciding which attributes and traits need to stay and which need to go. Being candid with yourself is something that doesn’t come easily, especially after we’ve spent lots of time and effort becoming someone we think we’ve always wanted to be.

It takes work to stay in touch with yourself, the person you really are, the one you don’t necessarily want to give up, just to embellish yourself with some new traits.  Unfortunately too many times in such a fast paced society as ours where success is the goal instead of personal development and peace, we lose sight of how good we really are at our core, and in our quest to be “better” we start losing sight of who we really are.

While we do want to become better, nicer, more capable and enduring in our basic traits of character, we don’t want to totally become someone else as we climb whatever ladder it is we think we need to get to the top of.

identityBeing candid with yourself…

is by far the most important trait of self discipline you can ever develop.  It brings clarity and focus into our goals of increasing ourselves.  Honest self introspection on a deep level assists us as no other personal confidant can, because we really do know ourselves better than anyone else.  And when all else is stripped from your life, you’re left with you, and you’d better like the person you’ve become.

We all need to learn to like ourselves simply because we’re becoming more moral, ethical, capable and helpful.  We all need to place less emphasis on ensuring that others think a lot of us, and making sure than when the lights are out at night and we’re left alone with ourselves, that we like ourselves, apart from anyone and anything else.

And that is also where the difficulty lies.  Many times we’ve put on so many hats, changed our uniforms that we wear daily depending on the person or circumstance we encounter,  and we do so automatically and without thinking, and if we don’t stop and force honesty back upon ourselves, one day we may not know who the real us is anymore.

Being honest won’t get you a lot of friends, but it will get you the right ones. ~Kemmy Nola

Success is not success if we don’t take the real us on the journey.  It’s very easy to react instead of simply being.  Of course we have to change, time itself will see to that.  As we grow older, hopefully we grow up.  But one thing that a real grownup does is he/she never forgets who they are at their core.

We need to take us along on the journey through life or when we arrive at where we think we want to be, we may find that we’ve reacted and responded to so many people, things and situations, that we’ve simply become a composite of the expectations of others.

We were born us for a reason, we weren’t an accident.  And our choice to improve ourselves wasn’t an accident either, it says something about us, something good.  That’s why we all should strive to be the best person we think we should be and not merely a response to someone else’s value system.

Find yourself, find the absolutely best that’s deep inside you, improve what’s on the outside, and put aside the dust and debris you’ve picked up along the way.  The idea isn’t to eliminate you, it’s to capitalize on your basic core values and desires, to improve your skills, and most of all, to remain genuine in the process.  The world needs the real you to be at your best, not what you think it wants you to be.

Your uniqueness is desperately needed in a world of mere images.

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