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Sometimes Even The Best Relationships Get Stressed

Sometimes even the best relationships get stressed.  Don’t think it’s the end of it all, it’s just a matter of life showing up.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship well knows that it’s a series of ups and downs. If the relationship is new these fluctuations are rare because everything is bright and shiny and new. It’s exciting and thrilling to get to know one another.

Eventually relationships that turn into something a little more long term go through a period of settling in. This is where both persons let their guards down a little a let their real personalities and patterns come through.  All relationships that will be at least somewhat long term need to come to this point because this is where we learn to either be or not be comfortable with the other person. This is where we don’t always have to be on stage.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
Donald Miller

During this period it’s very easy to let little things become big things simply because we’re still adjusting and compensating in our own life’s patterns for the other persons needs and personalities.  It can be seen as an infringement upon our territory unless we understand that we have willingly allowed the other person to enter that territory that was previously just ours and in doing so we have in some sense let it be know that we’re willing to compromise.

There is a tendency to from time to time to want to establish ourselves as in charge and this can create strain. Entering a give and take relationship must go through the periods of, well, give and take. If we realize that we owe a responsibility to the other person to allow them to be themselves as we owe it to ourselves to do so, then if both are in agreement, these short periods of disagreements will over time become shorter and shorter.

Author:  Tony Hensley

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